Hast du ihn? Johanna’s dad asked me,
Do you have him? We were lifting up
her dresser onto the wall in our new bedroom,
and it seemed absurd to me for this big white
dresser to be a he, but there wasn’t time to
say anything as we grunted under it.

It’s a quirk of the German language
that all nouns have one of three genders. This
is why German-speaking people will refer to a child
as “it” when speaking English, das Kind
being a neuter noun. While you can always
use the neutral es as a pronoun for objects

it’s considered better usage to use
the gendered pronoun of whatever
you’re referring to. This can give
certain expressions a macabre
anthropomorphism. It’s taking
its first steps - sounds sinister.
Fühlst du sie, die Liebe? Yes I feel her
Brauchst du Hilfe? Yes I need her
Kannst du den Rest beenden? Yes

I will eat him. Den Baum gegossen?
Yes, I watered him. I didn’t want
to say this to Johanna’s dad, it
was nice enough for her parents
to spend hours moving us in
without my grammar musings,

but I still smile at that male dresser
standing in our room. Steht er
immer noch im Raum? Yes
he’s standing in him.